Mrs. Edwards is her name. London's Kindergarten teacher. She is precious and sweet and all things I imagined that my first impression of her would be........but I still cried. I don't even know why. It wasn't like I had to leave London there today. In fact, I don't have to leave her there for 4 more days. The teacher probably thought I was completely nuts. Matt looked at me like I had lost my mind. I couldn't control myself though. The tears were too heavy to fight back. Come Monday, I am in for big time trouble. I decided that I will just pray hard and hope God can help me stay calm and collected on the first day of school. Why is this so hard?
After a few minutes of looking like a fool and of Matt reminding me to cover my face since I have a really ugly cry...I composed myself and was able to have intelligent conversation with Mrs. Edwards and hopefully convinced her that I'm not a nut. I signed up for every classroom volunteer opportunity possible. Of course I would, why wouldn't a completely overprotective mother want to be in the class as much as possible.
London got to sit at her desk and Mrs. Edwards took her picture too. After a few minutes she slowly and quietly scanned the room and checked out all the centers. I could see it in her eyes, I could read her mind when she looked at me. Her eyes were screaming, " Do I really have to do this. You are really going to make me go to Kindergarten. I'm excited but scared mommy. I want to take this Kindergarten thing and run with it but I want you close." At bedtime I told her it would be o.k. and that she would have so much fun in Kindergarten. London's friend Katie had Mrs. Edwards last year so that made her excited too. She talked about the ABC center and how she wanted to play with the letters and how Kinley kept walking to the kitchen center even though it was "closed" today. I hope however much excitement she has will grow and that her fears will fade. I'm confident that will happen and I hope I can put my fears and tears aside and cheer her on.
I know it is good for her and that she needs (and has to) go. But for some crazy reason, It is tearing me apart.
All I know is that is will take some major prayer to make me comfortable quickly. The halls are long and there are kids from all faiths and all walks of life in that building and in the same class as London. It scares me. It scares me alot. Maybe I should have more confidence in her. Maybe she is capable of finding her class after only 3 days of me walking her to the door. Hopefully Matt and I are doing our job and building a strong Christian faith in her and the other children from other faiths will only make her want to grow closer to Jesus. Maybe they are in the class with her so she can share the Gospel with them. I can only hope and pray that she is going to be o.k. Deep down I know she will be.....eventually.... but right now I am scared. I know she is too. At least a little bit.
I am going to hold on to her tighter than ever these last few days before I make the long walk to her class on Monday morning. Then, I will watch the clock for 3:20 when I can get in the car to go get her.
OH Monday.....please don't come so fast.
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